In a perfect world, today we would be celebrating all things
Tate. But as
we are reminded daily, in so many ways, it is not a perfect world, and Tate is
not here. Thirty years ago today, after
the world’s longest pregnancy, Tate Benjamin Senftner made his long-awaited
presence. This day brings a whirlwind of sadness, fond memories, and regrettably,
an empty feeling of all the things that he’s missed. The things that we’ve missed…Today is difficult
day.
To say Tate was a sports crazed fanatic is an
understatement. He simply loved everything
about athletics and competing. I have written
often of the notebook pages filled with brackets, formations, plays, potential
match ups, Final Four stats, playoff power points, and of course, original
plays he would draw up. In a tote in the basement, one of the things we treasure
are his Wolves Football notes. Pages and
pages of scout plans and potential game situations. I know just
enough to know an enormous amount of time goes into preparing for games each
week—at every level, but especially the college level. I can decipher a few plays, but it is pretty
much like me reading Italian. ( I’m Czech and Irish) But I love to look at it. Just seeing his neat, precise handwriting, I
smile at the happiness all these symbols and X’s and O’s brought him. Even as little boy, he loved to write things
down. Color a picture? Of heck no. He hated coloring. But making lists and writing things down was
something he greatly enjoyed. Tate was drawn to watching scouting film with his
dad, or sometimes riding along with Mark if the games were close enough to get
home at a reasonable time. As he got older,
he liked to discuss and debate with his dad about various defensive and
offensive strategies. They were often on
the same page, but not always.
ESPN (one of 3 channels our television is acclimated to
landing on most days) produced an incredible series starting sometime around
2007 I believe. Tate loved watching
these in-depth episodes about various sports figures and historical events told
from the athlete’s point of view. There
were shows about rivalries and big games.
Episodes exposing scandals and behind the scenes happenings in sports
history. Even as little boy, Tate wasn’t into many
cartoon characters. He liked Rugrats and
some Power Ranger action now and then, but animated movies and shows were not
his thing. He loved shows with real
people. (Barney was one of his
favorites! ) He was drawn to history as he grew older and loved
newspapers and sports magazines. Facts,
statistics, and biographies of sports figures intrigued him. 30 for 30 was right
up his alley. I can only imagine how
much he would have LOVED the Michael Jordan series “The Last Dance”.
As humans we all
have stories to share. There is a 30 for
30 episode that exists in all of us. Conquering
a fear, surviving unimaginable events, the simple joy of our day to day lives,
living through challenges, new jobs, broken dreams, and amazing celebrations—all
a story waiting to be shared. There are
sad stories too—of loss, illness, disappointments. Not all
the 30 for 30 episodes were feel good stories, but all gave the viewers an
inside look at humanity. And
mistakes. And losses. And victories. And life.
Regrettably, Tate’s 30 for 30 would more than likely focus on his
death. He was so much more than the manner in which
he died, but regrettably, many will only remember his heartbreaking decision. And
I hate that. A kind,
beautiful young man struggling with life all while hiding behind a beautiful
smile. Tate’s decision will never make
sense, but it does not change anything about the life we were honored in
sharing with him. To know he would be 30
today hurts. To think back on everything he’s missed—good and bad—is numbing. To have been given the great gift of being
his mother is one of my life’s greatest blessing. I miss his earthly presence every second of
every day.
So, on this difficult day, I am going to choose to think of
all the joy Tate brought to our lives—his laugh, his welcoming smile, the competitive
drive that introduced him to so many amazing people, coaches, and places, his
kind heart, and his kind soul. Tate had
an incredible gift of meeting and greeting others—his welcoming nature helped
him gather many friends in his short life.
His story, while entirely too
short, will be forever shared by those that loved him most. If you are reading
this, I hope you knew him. We probably each have something we remember
that would add to the fabric of his 30 for 30 episode. Some funny events, some frustrating ones, but
hopefully he left something with you that you will never forget.
If you stumbled upon this, never forget—The world needs YOU. You are someone’s entire world. Reach out and let someone know you are hurting. I assure you people truly care. We need you here.
PS And Coach K…….let’s
get this done this weekend. GO DUKE!!!! (Tate
and I watched his first Final Four in the hospital in 1992! I like to think he was born to be a Duke fan. His dad and brother, not so much. )
